Students at the English Farm write some amazing G.B.C. answers, and we like to share the best of the best.
This piece has had minor corrections by a teacher, but the logic, structure, and word choice are the student's.
Today's question: What do you think of Japanese baseball versus American baseball?
Well, I'm a big fan of both, but each has a difference in history and approach.
When it comes to American baseball, it is a totally logical and data-driven game. Every piece of data such as ball spin rates, probabilities of ball batted into the field, has been collected and each team decides how to allocate nine players in the field based on that analysis. That's why American baseball is the game with strategy, planing, and execution.
On the other hand, Japanese ball is not only a game but an education. Partly because baseball was imported in approximately 1870,and Japan grew as a military country after that, baseball has been used to educate players to understand duties and obedience. For example, Japanese starting pitchers often say completing the game by oneself is their duty, each player always must obey their manager's orders.
All in all, both types of baseball are worth watching, hopefully you can enjoy them more by grasping the historical back grounds and approaches.
This is a fantastic answer because for a few reasons.
- The use of detail such as "ball spin rates" and "imported in approximately 1870" give the listener an impressive amount of information.
- The structure make it very easy to follow, for instance the part about American ball:
Short sentence, "When it comes to American baseball, it is a totally logical and data-driven game"
Long sentence, "Every piece of data such as ball spin rates, probabilities of ball batted into the field, has been collected and each team decides how to allocate nine players in the field based on that analysis
Short sentence, "That's why American baseball is the game with strategy, planing, and execution."
- The transition phrases are also excellent: when it comes to, that's why, on the other hand, all in all.
So keep writing, and strive to make your English both complex and easy to understand—like this example.