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Student writing for GBC - Society's values

Keep doing homework!

Students at The English Farm write some amazing GBC answers, so we are going to share the best of the best.

This piece has had minor corrections by a teacher, but the logic, structure and word choice are the student's. 

Question: Do you think society is losing its values?

Answer: Personally, I disagree. The mass media often says Japan is losing its values and exaggeratedly reports many problems like crime, bad manners and other antisocial behavior. But Japan maintains one of the world’s lowest crime rates. We are not allowed to possess guns and even police officers hesitate to fire a gun, unlike in America. In Japan, you have a higher risk of being killed by a natural disaster than by a gun. Also in general, Japanese people are still honest. The other day, I left a shopping bag on the train. Hours later, I called the railway station and recovered it on the same day. Some people may think that manners are in decline, especially among young people. I sometimes hear about ill-mannered teenagers—maybe even only a few. But the impressions those few make stand out! Some of our core values are expressing politeness, showing gratitude and helping each other in a group. I believe that these concepts aren't lost. So, all in all, I see no evidence that our society is losing its values.

Let me tell you why I like this answer so much: 

  • The student started off simply, politely and directly: "Personally, I disagree."
  • They gave a fact to back up their argument: "Japan maintains one of the world’s lowest crime rates."
  • They gave a personal anecdote too: "The other day, I left a shopping bag on the train. Hours later, I called the railway station and recovered it on the same day." 
  • They gave the other side of the argument: "Some people may think..."

So keep writing, and do your best to use The English Farm's strategies to add complexity and impact like this person did.