Student writing: What would I change about Japan?

As you have more time off over the holidays, why not take time to write in English? You can use the questions in our discussion posts for inspiration. 

Students at the English Farm write some amazing answers to Global Business Communication test questions, and we like to share the best of the best.

This piece has had minor corrections by a teacher, but the logic, structure, and word choice are the student's.

Today's question:
If you could change one thing about Japan, what would it be?

In Japan, over-packaging is a serious problem that few people realize. When you visit a convenience store and buy a bottle of water, the staff will put your water in a plastic bag and hand it to you with two hands politely. If you buy a hot dog and a bottle of cold water, the staff will put them both in separate bags and hand them to you. They are very considerate. But this consideration causes high consumption of plastic. Besides convenience, ritualization is another cause for over-packaging. Gift-giving is very important in Asian cultures and opening up a well-packaged gift will give the receiver the feeling of "ritualistic appropriateness." It also makes the gift look better. At the same time, this increases the consumption of plastics which leads to more plastic garbage. In short, we need to reduce plastic waste. In terms of how to do this in Japan, two activities might be beneficial: one is to restrict the usage of plastic bags in stores; the other is to simplify packaging. So let's make simple packaging the new fashion.

This is a fantastic answer for a few reasons:

1. It opens with a vivid description to capture the reader's attention.
2. The reasoning is clear throughout the answer. It begins with a clear claim: "over-packaging is a serious problem." Then, at the end of each example, there is a sentence which links the example back to the claim.
3. The ending is impactful, as the author provides a solution to the problem of over-packaging.

So keep writing, and strive to make your English both complex and easy to understand—like this example.