Need vs. want
When I moved to Italy a year ago, it was with the intention of learning the language so that I could make Italy my new home. When I first arrived, however, it was during a lockdown, so I had to spend two weeks in quarantine. To be productive with my time, I thought I’d study a few phrases so I could appear to know a little of the language before I started school. I learned enough to get me through a night at a restaurant. Or so I thought.
A few weeks into my language studies, we covered a lesson of common phrases to use when eating in a restaurant. I learned the phrase for “I would like…” as a way to ask for things. I had not heard nor seen this particular phrase before! I told my teacher the original phrase I had been using, and he giggled. He told me that I had been telling waiters “I need…” when I wanted something. So, for two weeks or so, I’d been telling people I need French fries instead of I want them. My teacher told me that my phrase wasn’t wrong, but that it definitely gave an air of desperation that he was sure I didn’t want to convey. Imagine my shock! I returned to one of the restaurants where I’d been using the more insistent phrase and questioned the waiter. He gave me a really big smile and said, “You’re American, so I assumed you really needed them.” I was so embarrassed in that moment because he wasn’t wrong. Haven’t you ever been a little desperate for fries?
Paying for premium lessons
Before I moved to Italy, I paid for a year of lessons to take with a teacher when I arrived. I wanted to make sure that I would be as fluent as possible in the time that I got to be in there. In order to get my money’s worth, I made the conscious effort to take lessons 5 days a week. This way I could truly account for the investment I made in paying for my lessons ahead of time. I really wanted to get the full value of a year of learning in order to be a closer part of the new community I’d found myself in. While I had apps to supplement my learning, what really helped me learn was having a teacher correct and show me how to succeed.
What’s the point?
When learning a new language, it’s extremely important to have a clear goal in mind. A lot of people study languages out of curiosity or just as a way to pass the time. But without a clear end goal in mind, they almost never achieve fluency.
When I initially arrived in Italy, I went with the goal of making Italy my new permanent home. To do this I wanted to learn the language to be able to interact and adapt to my new life. I took that goal into my classes. I was an excellent student. I participated in lessons, I did my homework, and I attempted to use the language with native speakers. With the goal that this could be where I spent the rest of my life, I worked extra hard and went from a true beginner to level A2 in about 7 months.
Then things changed. I realized that while Italy is as amazing and beautiful as you have heard, it wasn’t "home" for me. I lost my goal, so I lost my focus. This does not mean that I could not achieve my goals if I continued working like I had been. It means that my personal priorities have changed which has led me to a different goal. And that is okay!
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