Students at the English Farm write some amazing G.B.C. answers, and we like to share the best of the best.
This piece has had minor corrections by a teacher, but the logic, structure, and word choice are the student's.
What can be done to prevent natural disasters caused by extreme weather events?
I don't think there are effective ways to "prevent" natural disasters, but we can prepare for them in order to protect our family, essential belongings and assets. Japan is a kind of showcase of natural disasters. We have earthquakes, storm surges, typhoons and extremely heavy rains. To protect ourselves, we have a survival kit at home which contains some bottles of water, preserved food, portable toilet, an electric torch, laminated sheet and so on. With this, we can spend 3-4 days without a significant problem while waiting for rescue. We are also well trained for emergency evacuation from childhood. Every school holds a rehearsal of escape from a possible natural disaster at least once a year. Each apartment building regularly conducts drills for its residents in case of emergency. We understand that we have to live with a lot of natural disasters, therefore we have learned not to prevent it but to accept it and to mitigate the damage as much as possible through preparation.
This is a strong answer because it not only follows a good argument structure—claim, evidence, reasoning, and conclusion—but it also uses very specific and descriptive evidence to support the claim.
Furthermore, there is lots of vivid and sophisticated language. Japan doesn't just have a lot of natural disasters, it is “a showcase of natural disasters,” including:
- earthquakes,
- storm surges,
- typhoons, and
- extremely heavy rains.
Such examples make the point vivid and memorable.
Likewise, the answer doesn't simply state that people prepare for emergencies with a survival kit, but we are told in detail what’s in the kit. Those details paint a clear picture of what it would be like to have to survive for 3-4 days after an earthquake or typhoon!
So when you are writing, be sure to include lots of descriptive details in your answers. Paint clear pictures in the listener’s head. It will make your answers memorable to the reader or listener!
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paint a (clear) picture [idiom]—create a clear visual for the reader to imagine