Respond politely in meetings
In this lesson, we will start learning how to politely respond to disagreements.
How would you respond to disagreement?
You: I think everyone in our company should get training for at least 1 hour every week.
Your colleague: Wouldn't that be too expensive?
You: [Disagree with person B.]
Allow your student to disagree however they'd like. Explore disagreements in the Warm Up.
Your student may disagree rudely. You can send upper-level students this page of "dysfunctional disagreers" to read for homework.
- Did you find it easy to disagree in the above conversation? Why or why not?
- Some people say that English is a direct language. Is that true?
1. How was your response to the disagreement?
Respond accordingly if the student is:
- Too direct.
- Say: "English might not be as direct as you think it is."
- Too convoluted.
- Say: "You should say what you mean. Maybe you don't have enough practice disagreeing."
- Awkward.
- Say: "How does it feel to disagree in English? Is it awkward?"
- Just right.
- Say: "Your disagreement was great!"
2. Some people say that English is a direct language. Is that true?
- English is direct when we are giving our opinion or conclusion.
- English is usually not direct when we are relating to other people—disagreeing, making requests of them, remarking on their characteristics, etc.
- English varies by culture and context. A New Yorker will speak differently than a Londoner. In terms of business, a tech startup might have a more casual atmosphere than a law firm.
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NOTE: For Japanese students
In Japan, students are taught that Westerners are direct. However, Japanese can be even more direct than English. In Japanese, requests are direct.
Ask:
- In Japan, how do you order some water at a restaurant?
- e.g.: [yelling] "Excuse me!" [normal voice] "Water, please."
- What about in English?
- e.g.: [catch waiter's attention] "Sorry, can I have some water, please?"
- In Japan, how does a boss ask a subordinate to do something?
- e.g.: "Go do this."
- What about in English?
- e.g.: "Could you go do this, please?"
In many cases, English tends to be much more indirect than Japanese!
A. Start indirectly.
In GCAS 13, we talked about disagreeing indirectly. What do you remember about how to start indirectly?
Role-play the following conversation. Your teacher will play the part of your colleague.
You: I think everyone in our company should get training for at least 1 hour every week.
Your colleague: Everyone?! Don't you think some employees don't need training?
You: [Respond]
B. Focus on core ideas, not minor details.
First, agree on fundamentals. Then work out the details.
- The main thing is that...
- The most important thing is...
Role-play the following conversation. Your teacher will play the part of your colleague.
You: I think everyone in our company should get training for at least 1 hour every week.
Your colleague: How would we hire the right training company?
You: [Respond]
C. Stay on the same team.
Inclusive language is a negotiation tactic to reduce tension and encourage teamwork.
Rather than "I" and "you", use inclusive language such as "we", "us", and "let's".
| Too direct | Inclusive |
|---|---|
| You are wrong... |
As far as we know, that’s not quite right... |
| Like I said... | Going back to what we said... Didn't someone mention... ? |
| Do you understand me? | Does that sound right? Does that make sense? |
Role-play the following conversation. Your teacher will play the part of your colleague.
You: I think everyone in our company should get training for at least 1 hour every week.
Your colleague: Yes, we've been looking into this, but what we've found so far is that everyone's just too busy for training.
You: [Respond]
NOTE
Write your student's responses in the chat box so you can use them in Part C.
A. Start indirectly.
GCAS 13 phrases—ask what your student remembers. Help them quickly if they struggle.
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Weak disagreement |
Indirect disagreement |
|---|---|
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Role-play the following conversation. Your teacher will play the part of your colleague.
- Student: I think everyone in our company should get training for at least 1 hour every week.
- Teacher: Everyone?! Don't you think some employees don't need training?
- Student: [Respond]
Other teacher responses for more practice:
- Teacher: Every week? What about weeks that have tight deadlines?
- Teacher: I think the word "training" is too broad. Is it English training, or business training, or...?
- Teacher: Who is going to organize this training? Human Resources is already too busy. We might have to hire people to oversee it.
B. Focus on core ideas, not minor details.
Some disagreements are not constructive. First, agree on fundamentals. Then work out the details.
- The main thing is that...
- The most important thing is...
Role-play the following conversation. Your teacher will play the part of your colleague.
- Student: I think everyone in our company should get training for at least 1 hour every week.
- Teacher: How would we hire the right training company?
- Student: [Respond]
Other teacher responses for more practice:
- Teacher: What if someone takes a vacation for a week?
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Teacher: What will the CFO think this about this plan?
C. Stay on the same team
Inclusive language is a negotiation tactic to reduce tension and encourage teamwork.
Rather than "I" and "you", use inclusive language such as "we", "us", and "let's".
Role-play the following conversation. Your teacher will play the part of your colleague.
Go back to previous answers. Add inclusive language.
For example, phrases to change:
- Teacher: Yes, we've been looking into this, but what we've found so far is that everyone's just too busy for training.
- e.g.: Yes, we've been looking into this. Some people feel that they're too busy for training.
- Teacher: I think the word "training" is too broad.
- e.g.: Is the word "training" too broad? Maybe we should clarify it.
Here is a GCAS Part 3 style question.
Your company is a wine importer. But recently, local wine in your country has been increasing in quality for the same low price. It's getting harder to sell imported wine due to local competition. An executive wants to hear your ideas to save the company.
| Theme | Idea | Details |
|---|---|---|
| Increase marketing | Show that imported wine is a luxury product. | Spend money on new packaging that emphasizes luxury. |
| Shift to domestic | Use your company's logistics to distribute high quality local wine. |
Find local producers you can partner with to distribute their product. |
| Import other products | Bring products that don't have local competition. | Import fine meats and cheeses from international producers. |