If you have already met someone, then it is customary to open the conversation with a friendly question. Starting with the correct question and answer will help you smoothly begin your meeting and build relationships.
Knowing who wants to have a conversation versus who wants to get down to business is also an important part of communication. That topic will be investigated in the next lesson, 1.4.
Top-tier consulting firms have discovered a problem: new hires who had perfect performances during their test cases were often the ones that clients liked the least. Why do you think that is?
In short, finding the right answer and communicating the right answer are two very different sets of skills. Consultants need both.
Client complaints were never about the consultant's performance. It wasn't that they lacked logic, made spreadsheet errors, or came to wrong conclusions.
All the complaints were about how certain client members felt offended, excluded, or otherwise alienated by the consultant in question.
Since then, major firms have gone back to revise their recruiting process to look for interpersonal skills.
Airport test
You can ask your student, have you ever heard of "the airport test"?
In short, it means, "Would I be happy to be stuck at an airport with this person?"
It's used to talk about new hires, as in, "he's brilliant, but honestly, I think he'd fail the airport test."
Being nice is important for three reasons:
- With colleagues—imagine working until 2 AM with a person you don't get along with! You are in the trenches. You need to build trust and work closely.
- With clients—you are going to be pitching ideas and changing the clients' minds about key aspects of their business. Building trust is vital for success!
- When networking—for instance, at conferences and events. Having a strong network is important for consultants.
Litmus test for confident students:
Check to see if your student can handle these questions naturally.
You might say, "So, your English is really good. I think this small talk might be fine for you, but let's check to see if there is any new language or style to pick up. I have a few questions for you."
- Ask and answer two friendly "How...?" and two friendly "What...?" questions. Try to ask about the past, present and future.
- (If your student can do this perfectly, skip Language A and B, and just take a quick look at C)
Examples:
- How've you been? → I've been well! Busy though. You?
- How's it going? → Can't complain. How about you?
- What's new? → I just finished a project last week, so I've been catching up on sleep!
- What are you up to this weekend? → Nothing special. I guess I might hit the gym and do some shopping. How about you?
Read the following dialogue and make notes of any new phrases or language. After reading, discuss what you can infer about the context and relationship.
Tom: Good to see you again.
Ken: You too! How's everything?
Tom: Can't complain, can't complain. How was your weekend?
Ken: Too short! But it was nice. What about you? What were you up to on the weekend?
Tom: Not much. I got some family time on Saturday but I just worked on Sunday. Hey, I caught some basketball on TV. Your Lakers did well!
Ken: Yep, big win over the weekend. We're gonna make the finals this year. Too bad about the Celtics though.
Tom: Tell me about it. Anyway, so we need to talk about implementation...
Ask your student:
- Who are the speakers? Where are they?
They could be two colleagues, or a consultant and a client they've become close to.
They are chatting before a meeting. - Do you often have conversations like that in English? Do you relax for a few seconds before your meetings?
—If the answer is "no", then you can say something along the lines of:
"How long did that take? 20 seconds? I think spending 20 seconds to build your relationship is a good use of time. Let's work on very short but high impact greetings for people you want to build a relationship with."
Notice that the speakers refer to the other person's favorite sports team as "your" and their own team as "we". This is a natural way of speaking.
Culture note
Friendly greetings are very important for relationship-based business cultures like most of America and Canada.
We will look at two simple structures for having a short, friendly conversation.
A typical flow of small talk is as follows:
How question → What question → Business.
A. How questions are very common and typically have a short response. Discuss the following questions. Have you heard or used them before?
- Now:
- How's it going?
- How are you doing?
- How's your day?
- Past:
- How was your weekend?
-
How was your client meeting yesterday?
- It's been a while! How have you been?
How questions are responded to with adjectives, typically feelings.
Arrange the following common responses from most positive to least positive:
- I'm fine.
- I've been really busy! But, so far so good.
- Could be better.
- I'm okay.
- Great.
- Fantastic.
- Not too bad.
Your teacher will ask you a few "How...?" questions. Respond quickly and naturally.
B. What questions are also very common. Discuss the following questions. Have you heard or used them before? Note the verb tenses.
- Now:
- What's going on today?
- What's up?
- Past:
- What have you been up to?
- What's new?
- Future:
- What are you up to this weekend?
- Do you have any plans this weekend?
The response is a verb or nothing (e.g., "not much", or "nothing special"). What are the differences between the following three responses?
- Not too much, you?
- I just had a drink with a few colleagues. What about you?
- I got back from vacation last week! I was in Italy and Greece for 10 days.
C. Getting down to business is simple.
- So, anyway, let's get down to business.
- Shall we begin our meeting?
-
Anyway, we need to...
-
Wow! We've talked for a few minutes already!
-
[topic] sounds great, but we should get down to business.
Note that these are fairly casual, but sometimes being casual is necessary. Of course it's bad to be too casual in formal situations. But it's also bad to be too formal in casual situations!
Being overly formal is typically safe in some cultures like Japanese, but in English it can be seen as being unfriendly and will hinder relationship-building. Of course, it's sometimes necessary to be polite.
This practice is about friendly communication.
A. How questions can be used whenever you have a relationship with the person you're greeting. If you have met your client before, then it's probably okay to ask them a How greeting question.
Note that the questions are arranged from most casual to most formal, even though the formality doesn't change a great deal.
- How's it going?—very casual and friendly.
- How are you doing? —very casual and friendly.
Note: Australians ask "How are you going?" - How are you?—the basic phrase, and rarely used by native English speakers.
- How was your weekend?—appropriate to ask on Monday or Tuesday. This can be used with colleagues or clients you know well.
- How have you been?—used if you haven't seen the person for some time.
- How's your day so far?—appropriate for people you don't know well. Narrowing the question to only "your day so far" means that you are avoiding anything personal.
These questions can be modified to ask about hobbies or interests. For instance, if you know your client is a big fan of the Tokyo baseball team, The Giants, you can ask, "So, how have The Giants been playing?" This shows a level of familiarity.
Typically, How questions will get a short response. They are used to check on a person before moving on to the main topic of the meeting or conversation.
Most positive ↴
1. Fantastic!
2. Great!
3. I've been really busy! But, so far so good.
4/5. I'm fine. = I'm okay.
6. Not too bad.
7. Could be better.
Least positive ↵
B. What questions are not as common but are important to know when speaking with foreign colleagues.
You can ask what questions in a variety of tenses:
- Present:
- What is...?
- Past simple:
- What were you up to...?
- (Note: "what is new" is in the present tense, but you should answer using the past)
- or Present perfect:
- What have you been up to?
- Future:
- Usually using the "to be + --ing" style, as you're talking about plans, eg: "I'm going to a party tomorrow."
-
(Note: "Do you have any plans this weekend?" is in the present tense, but you should answer using the future)
Note the answers:
- Not too much. = This is a typical response but can be seen as closed or less friendly than the next one.
- I just had a drink with a few colleagues. = The key word is just. This format is the most popular; it's used to talk about typical actions.
- I got back from vacation last week! I was in Italy and Greece for 10 days. = Usually use the simple past tense if you have big news or want to add information.
C. Transitioning is grammatically very easy, but can be challenging for non-native English speakers to actually do it. (How often has your student made a transition in the lesson? Rarely if ever.)
Note the pronunciation of anyway: /aAAaaanyway/.
Your student needs to be mindful that they can take control of the conversation.
They can even just say, "Let's start." That's fine language.
Note
- By the way = off topic
- Anyway = back on topic
- "By the way, did you see that topic on the news? It's amazing ... Anyway, back to business."
- "By the way, how was your trip to Chicago? ... I'm jealous! Chicago sounds great. Anyway, we should talk about..."
A. Your teacher will ask you some quick questions. Respond naturally. Pay attention to the type of question in order to respond correctly.
B. Consider the following situations, then ask a friendly question and a follow-up question.
- You are meeting a foreign colleague for the first time who has just arrived from London.
- Your client works in a young digital company with a relaxed atmosphere. It's a Monday morning.
- It's late on Thursday afternoon. You run into your foreign colleague at the coffee machine in the break room.
- You are attending global training. You are standing in line at the lunch buffet. Have a light conversation.