Consulting 2.3 Setting up a meeting: Rescheduling or declining

Image Credit
Image via Freepik

In this lesson you will practice politely declining, giving a reason, and offering to reschedule.

Introduction

If your junior colleague makes a request that you don't want to do either because you don't have time or it's not in your skill set, what would you say? Can you decline positively while keeping the relationship strong?

Declining, postponing or cancelling is tough in any language. 

Be mindful of culture. On the one hand, it's fine to be from another culture and maintain positive aspects of that. On the other hand, it's important to communicate in English not only in terms of language but style, too. Find a balance. 

Litmus test for confident students

Try asking a few of these questions, and see if your student can handle them naturally:

Example, "So, your English is really good. I think declining nicely might be fine for you, but let's check. I have a few questions for you." 

The intro itself should serve as a good litmus test. If they do this perfectly, then ask the following questions:

  1. What's the difference between push + back as a verb (to push back) and as a noun (pushback)?
  2. What's the nuance of "reschedule"? What other words or phrases can you use instead?
  3. What can you do instead of changing the meeting time?
Warm Up

Situation 

Ken, a junior consultant, is scheduled to have an update meeting at 4 PM with a very strict, hands-on principal. Ken's teammate Sarah has offered to meet with him at 2 PM to help him prepare.

Via email: 

Hi Ken, 
      Apologies. I have to push back our prep session. The client meeting went long, and now I'm running behind schedule. Would 3 PM work?
Sarah

Sarah, 
     Understood. Actually, I just got a call from the principal. He wants to bring the meeting forward to 3 PM.
     Thanks for the offer to help! I'll take you up on it next time.
Best, 
Ken

Ten minutes later:

Ken: Hey Phillis, do you have two minutes? I just need a second set of eyes on some analysis.
Phillis: No problem. Let me just save what I'm doing...
Ken: Thanks. I have a meeting with the principal at 3, and I'm not sure if I'm ready. Could you take a quick look at these findings here? 
Phillis: Okay, let's see.
Ken: These are from the surveys we conducted last week. This is the part that I'm having trouble with.
Phillis: Okay, do these confirm the hypothesis?
Ken: That's the thing, I'm not sure. 
Phillis: I see... You have a lot of data here. Honestly, my instinct is to be frank with the principal. Tell him straight you don't know if these confirm the hypothesis. I wish I could help you more but I'm in the middle of some analysis myself.
Ken: You don't think he'll be annoyed? 
Phillis: I wouldn't think so. The data looks clean, and honestly, you're still learning the ropes. I bet you'll be fine. 
Ken: Okay. Thanks. 
Phillis: Anytime. Let me know how the meeting goes. 
Ken: Will do.

Key language from the emails (we'll practice using this in Language A):

  1. push the meeting back—to a later time.

  2. bring the meeting forward—to an earlier time.

  3. the meeting went long—the meeting was longer than expected.
  4. I'm running behind schedule—many things are now effected by one thing going long.

Next ask the discussion questions:

  • If you were Ken, would you be happy with that response? 
    —He doesn't get what he wants, but his colleagues seem to be nice people.
  • How does Phillis decline the request? (She avoids saying "no" directly. How?)
    —the key phrase "I wish I could", in this case, "...help you more."
Language

A. Rescheduling is a big part of a consultant's life. 

Discuss the following phrases with your teacher:

  1. Push the meeting back 
  2. Bring the meeting forward 
  3. The meeting went long 
  4. I'm running late/behind schedule 
  5. Reschedule the meeting

Work with your teacher to reschedule, using the following situation. This is your schedule: 

10:30–10:50 AM meeting client-side to confirm the strategy 
11:30–12:00 PM meeting @ the office with team leader, Tim
12:00ish lunch with Sarah 
5:00–5:10 PM

team meeting for a quick update 

Situation:

Unfortunately, the client gives you a lot of unexpected feedback. It's 11:30 and the client is still talking.

What do you do? 

B. Hopefully, you won't have to decline often, but if you do, there are some phrases you can use to do it in a positive way.

Match the responses below to the following questions: 

  • Your team leader: "I just had a meeting cancelled. Can we bring our evening meeting forward and meet in 20 minutes?" 
  • Your colleague: "Hey, are you hungry? Phillis and I are going for pizza. Wanna come?"
  1. I wish I could.
  2. I'm sorry, (but...)
  3. I apologize.
  4. It sounds like a lot of fun, (but...)
  5. I'd love to but...

Next, offer a short explanation. Use your schedule and offer a few potential reasons for why you have to decline. 

C. Here are a couple of strategies for declining politely. Discuss them with your teacher:

  1. Suggest an alternative 
    • If you need to leave early, can I just send you an email instead?
    • I don't have time for a drink tonight, but I can get a quick coffee with you shortly.
  2. Lead the listener to say "no" for you

    • I've got a meeting with Phillis at that time, but I think I can push it back if necessary. Do you need me to do that?

    A. Key language from the emails

    1. push the meeting back—to a later time.
    2. bring the meeting forward—to an earlier time.
    3. the meeting went long—the meeting was longer than expected.
    4. I'm running behind schedule—many things are now affected by one thing going long.
    5. Reschedule—to another day/time (formal, and seems like a big change).

    Unfortunately, the client gives you a lot of unexpected feedback. It's 11:30 and the client is still talking. What do you do? —Ask to step out and make some calls.

    Here are some examples: 

    • To Tim: Imagine Tim wants to meet in person. 
      • E.g.: "Sorry, the meeting with the client went long, and he had a lot of feedback. Can I push back our meeting to 12:15? I think I'll be able to make it back by then if traffic is good." 
         
    • To Sarah: So Sarah is looking forward to the lunch but, again, it's impossible to meet her.
      • E.g.: "Apologies! I have to reschedule our lunch. I had pushback from the CEO and now we have a ton of work to do. Would tomorrow work for you?"
        • Also, "take/get a rain check", which means do a nice, casual thing at a later date. "Will you take a rain check?" or "Can I get a rain check?"
           
    • To the team: Since the CEO gave you a lot of feedback (or "pushback"—more negative), you should bring the team meeting forward so it's not right at the end of the day.
      • E.g.: "Hey everyone, can we bring the update meeting forward? ASAP would be best. How's 4 PM?"

    If your student needs more practice, ask them to look at their schedule and practice moving times around. Just ask, "What kind of meetings do you have? Let's imagine you need to change them."

    B. Strategies for declining

    • Your team leader: "I just had a meeting cancelled. Are you free for an update in 20 minutes?" 
      • Phrases 1, 2, and 3.
    • Your colleague: "Hey, are you hungry? Phillis and I are going for pizza. Wanna come?"
      • Phrases 1, 4 and 5.

    Now, try finishing them with a short explanation. Be creative. 

    1. I wish I could,
      —but I have another meeting starting in a few minutes. 
    2. I'm sorry, but 
      —I have to prepare for a client presentation in an hour. 
    3. I apologize.
      —I have to meet the partner at that time.
    4. It sounds like a lot of fun, but
      —I've got a ton of work to do.
    5. I'd love to, but
      —my husband/wife is expecting me home early tonight.

    C. Other strategies 

    1. Suggest an alternative—Remember, this is not rescheduling. This is an alternative action. 

    • I can't make it to the meeting! Would it be possible to catch up on the notes afterwards?
    • I've got a meeting, but it shouldn't take too long. Would you mind if I arrived a bit late?

    Questions to ask your student for practice: 

    • Could we meet for a few minutes at 10 PM? I just need an update.
      (Ask if an email or a phone call would be okay.)
    • You are planning on finishing the prep work on Saturday, and the principal asks if he can meet you on Sunday. Your family really want you to have at least one day off. 
      (Bring it forward to Saturday night, or push it back to early Monday, or have a phone call after your kids are asleep.) 
       

    2. Lead the listener to say "no" for you

    This is a high-risk, high-reward strategy for more advanced speakers. Don't use this internally, as consultants like to be direct with each other. Rather, use it with high-level clients such as executives you need to be very respectful of or who prefer indirect approaches.

    • Well, I'm right in the middle of some important calculations. I'll have to start again at the beginning if I take a break. But you know I'm always happy to join. Should I join?
    • I have plans with my family on Sunday, but we can meet early, before everyone is awake. Can I call you before 6 AM? 

    Note

    Last-ditch strategy: Lie.

    Very high-risk, and not advisable, but people do it. You or your student may not be comfortable doing so. What kind of fake reasons could you give?

    • I'm actually feeling under the weather. I'm afraid I wouldn't be much fun at the party. Next time!
    • [Be creative!]

    Always remember what lie you told so you don't get tripped up by it later:

    You (lying): My son broke his leg playing football and I have to take him to the hospital.
    Principal (the following week): How's your son doing?
    You: My son? 
    Principal: Yes, the one who broke his leg. Remember?

    Practice

    Consider the following situations. What could you say? Can you think of more than one phrase or strategy?

    1. Your principal would like you to meet tomorrow morning, but you have a meeting with senior management at that time. 

    2. Your team leader asked you if you are available for a midnight teleconference with New York. You have an internal meeting at 7 AM the next morning.

    3. Your counterpart at the client company is having an event next month, but it is at the same time as your global training. You have enjoyed working together and want to go, but it's not possible.

    4. Your colleagues want to go out for a late dinner, but you are exhausted.